Mark Twain

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

It is a time when one’s spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.

The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come, not of booky teaching, but of experience.

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.