Mark Twain

Tom did play hookey, and he had a very good time.

Behold, the fool saith, ‘Put not all thine eggs in the one basket’ — which is but a matter of saying, ‘Scatter your money and your attention’; but the wise man saith, ‘Pull all your eggs in the one basket and — watch that basket.’

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it — namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.

Names are not always what they seem.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.