Mark Twain

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

We ought never to do wrong when people are looking.

The elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.

The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed.

There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.